Why do
we form a relationship, connect, cooperate, associate, get on? Why don’t we just stay on our own and not have friends, siblings, parents,
relatives, etc.? Why must we depend on others to survive even when we have ‘the whole world’?
There
is a reason for everything, whether we know it or not. We meet for a reason.
Every relationship has its reason. Some are for the present, others for the
future.
The
education system provides good breeding ground for different kinds of
relationships; so for good some for bad. They can never be avoided. No matter
how bad a relationship is, there is always a positive to come out of it. It
takes intelligence and willingness to learn to see the good.
During
my secondary school days, we formed a small group with the sole purpose of
winning election into school prefect positions. I learnt a lot from that small
group. We had a simple agreement on “power
sharing formula” – contest this time, I will support you, you
will step aside for me next election. It seemed perfect when it was made. We
all agreed. We all signed. We all supported. But when the stepping aside time
came, you could guess what happened.
From
that little interaction we had, way back in our secondary school days, it was
obvious who to trust and why. We give up so much for so little every day. We
don’t understand how
our little actions build lasting memories in other people’s mind. We create who we are, not who we say
we are with our actions. The way we relate with people.
I read
this story from a friend’s
Facebook wall:
“An old man saw a drowning scorpion and decided to save it. Each time the man tried to pick the scorpion up, the scorpion will sting the old man. It didn’t stop the man from trying to help the scorpion. He continued to attempt to pick up the scorpion and the scorpion would do the same. A young boy who was observing told the old man to let the scorpion be since it would not stop to sting, but the old man replied the boy: ‘it is in the scorpion’s nature to sting and it’s in my nature to save it’. Then the man used a leaf to pick up the scorpion to safety.
Most
times we think our relationships are not working out, we may have misdiagnosed.
Maybe we have been the scorpions or we have not tried enough to save the
scorpion despite the stinging. Maybe we have been assuming wrongly, maybe we
have not said the right words yet, maybe we still nurture the wound from a
previous sting, maybe we have been not sticking around long enough. How far are
you willing to go to ensure that it works, how strong are you willing to push?
In the university
people form relationships without knowing why they did. Relationships are
avenues for others to learn about us, who we are, what we capable of, stuff we
are made of, etc. These, when know shapes where we fit into their future. If we
present ourselves right we will eventual be put to use. It may be immediate, it
may take a while, but it surely will come only if we learned enough or we let
them learn us enough. Some of these relationships end in marriage, some in
lucrative job/contract recommendations, some political appointments, others
business partnerships, and so on.
Who or what are you
showing yourself to be, a Casanova? a counsellor? a trustworthy financial
administrator? Do you make extra effort to make impact in a relationship? Will
you be missed by the people that know you when you leave? Or are you just
occupying space? Are you are builder or destroyer? There are some of us that cannot
be trusted anymore when money is involved. There are those of us who cannot be
trusted if teamwork is required. There are still those that cannot be trusted
if keeping secrets is a prerequisite.
If there are no mad
people, we will never know we are sane. If there are no children, we will never
know that we are adults. If there are no poor people, we will never know we are
rich. If there are no sick people, we would not appreciate how good it feels to
be healthy.
In the
final analysis, I need you, you need me. We all need each other to survive. Let’s make it work. Let’s relate!!!
